The Hardest Thing You Can Ever Do…
Become Who I am. Become Who You Truly Are. Become Who We Truly Are.
Those statements are harder than we think.
In some situations, we’re truly who we are, honest, authentic, NOT ‘trying’ to please, get along or do things, which we don’t want to do…or put up with behaviors that really don’t interest us.
At other times, we’re totally compromised.
We can feel ourselves slipping away into the energy of someone or something else–where we don’t want to disappoint or suffer loss; feeling ourselves putting up walls, getting defensive and perhaps, becoming stubborn. Even feeling angry, or discontented and wondering why?
For myself….I “do things I don’t want to do at times, because of guilt, or I don’t want to disappoint someone.” Of course, the head trip I can beat myself up with leads me to old questions, which used to haunt me, “Will I ever belong?”
Can I ever do the right thing?
Do I always have to compromise myself and feel “eh” about doing things I don’t want to do, to either please others or fit into my role (that I cast years ago)?
Am I a curmudgeon; is it a comfort zone thing?
Now, these questions may seem funny coming from me (if you know me), because I tend to do what I want (according to others), say what I feel or think most of the time and yet, at times, I felt like I swam in a big circle and had been unconsciously trying to do the right thing (by someone else’s standards) and haphazardly doing what’s right for me.
Makes for one messy human being!!! LOL!
To be who we truly are, we have to practice awareness, first and foremost.
Even when we compromise ourselves, to be authentic is to say, “Ok, I’m doing this action, not because I want to, but because I feel guilty, or I will get validation that I’m a good egg or I promised or fill in the blank.“ Instead of burying it inside of us and lying to ourselves that we really want to do something, which we aren’t interested in at all.
True authenticity requires a slowing down and a connection to our inner truth. Most of us DO NOT want to do this, it’s easier or so it seems, to remain disconnected.
We recognize there’d be change in what we do, which signifies some kind of loss. We may hate our position in life, but cling out of fear of what could happen! We know the familiar and believe on some level it’s the best we can do!
Because scarcity can cause us to cling (what if we fail as ourselves, or end up homeless or alone, etc) to the false parts of our lives, we may never become fully authentic.
No one else is to blame.
If we hold others’ responsible for our choices (even if they’re counting on us–they cannot force us), we will never be true to ourselves.
Being authentic is:
- Taking full responsibility for what we say and do.
- Remaining connected to our desires and needs (and acting on them).
- Speaking our truth.
- Not pretending.
- Not purposely seeking validation from others.
- Doing the right thing for ourselves.
- Risking what is false or constricting to discover our deeper truth.
- Committing to our happiness.
- Facing scarcity down, by letting go, getting uncomfortable and believing WE deserve an abundance of opportunities.
- Allowing those we’ve known, to be their authentic selves.
- Opening to a new tribe of people.
- Living our true dreams.
- Say yes when we mean yes, no when we mean no. (and when we don’t–don’t deny it)
- Treat ourselves how we want to be treated–always!
- AND ACCEPT YOURSELF, MYSELF, OURSELVES just as we are!!!!
For me, I keep heading toward more and more risks that scare the crap out of me, but I know the way I’ve gotten here, isn’t how I want to continue.
My own evolution is reflected personally and professionally.
I started a new radio show, not cuz it’s a great business move (who knows), but because it brings me joy! I’m going to start life-changing retreats for my clients, which include hiking, certain modalities of getting into deeper exploration leading to authentic change in my clients…why? Because it turns me on (rather than just thinking about it FOREVER and staying in some miserable place of settling–not going for it) and in doing what I LOVE in all parts of my life, it changes–there’s loss, but the gain is so much sweeter…I just have to put the seatbelt on and be present for the ride!!!
There are so many other things I am creating, including an online dating profile to put myself out there and possibly meet my partner in crime! 🙂
How about you?