Pursuing Happiness Can Make You Miserable

Pursuing Happiness Can Make You Miserable

Written By Cristina DiMeglio

happiness-just-ahead

Hello Friends! OK, hear me out on this one as I may push the envelope a bit.
We have all heard that life is the pursuit of happiness, right?  I have too. In fact, I ask the question simply because I have been chasing this idea of happiness my whole life.

Happiness to me means living a blissful life filled with success, perfect health, money, adventure, and peace.  I am sure most people would agree with this generalized list but here I am, rushing my way through a crowd of people to catch the next train home and I am thinking to myself, “How am I really happy in those areas of my life?”  I keep pushing forward and striving, never resting, hoping that one day, all of this sweat and sacrifice will have added up to mean something!

But why does blood, sweat, and tears feel like the only answer? Since when are they the building blocks of happiness?  I took this further and asked some friends how they defined happiness in their lives, and if they felt that they were pursuing it rather than living it.

The common denominator in the answers I received was sacrifice. In order to be happy, one day, someday, we had to work really hard and sacrifice right now.

Hmm. I think I am on to something now.  Why is this the new route to happiness?

What is the picture that comes to mind when you envision what your greatest happiness looks like? Go ahead. I DARE you to dream a little.

I’ve been noticing lately… when I’m quiet, and I am present, I have no wants. No desires. I just exist. Me, my breath and my heartbeat, all consumed in the moment and totally fulfilled. What if our constant chasing of happiness is actually doing ourselves a disservice?

What if, on a somatic level, our chasing is actually a form of berating ourselves that says our place in life is not right or not enough right now? What a terrible feeling!  If not NOW, then WHEN?  Isn’t right now a good time to be happy?

It’s a totally new way of looking at your reality. What if you and I STOPPED chasing this future idea of happiness and started being happy right now?

Here is where to start:

1. Get present in your body
Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breathing. Notice how your breath moves through your body. Observe any tension and breathe into it.

You are present and timeless. No past. No future. Only now.

2. Do not resist what is
Accept that your life at this very moment is exactly where it needs to be. That this moment is perfect for the evolution of your soul. There is no going backwards or skipping ahead. You are exactly where you’re meant to be and are following the path. Breathe in deeply and let it out audibly as a sigh of relief.

3. Cultivate Gratitude
I want you to get on your knees and thank the Universe, God, or whatever name you want for having breath in your lungs and a new day to wake up to filled with possibilities. Our destinies are not written in stone.  Really feel into that; that YOU are the power OR the block standing in the middle of your greatest bliss or your greatest misery.

Take back your power and be happy right now. There is no someday in the cosmic timeline. We are here only briefly; Dare to be perfectly human!

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