The Pleasure Principle.
Heavily invested in working through our flaws, our issues and anything we deem an obstacle to happiness, love and success?
Often we forget to explore pleasure as we commit to this deep work.
We can’t help, but remind ourselves of what is wrong with our lives.
Perhaps, we believe we made tremendous errors to get here, so we beat ourselves up for being stuck. It makes us crazy! We can’t stand being where we don’t want to be, and so we overdo certain activities (sleeping, eating, drinking, etc) to blot out our displeasure.
A hint of pleasure might be present, as we embark on trying to forget the misery, or the helpless feeling of being stuck, but that pleasure dissipates, as we overdo covering it up.
Expectations, can be out of whack, especially when it’s to do with our lack of worth. It’s depressing to prove ourselves through overwhelming demands, before we can be kind to ourselves.
Accomplishing those expectations never feels like we thought it would. We’re still in a state of lack. If we’re depleted, nothing outside of us can fuel the tank, we have to do it. And the best way is through allowing pleasure.
We have to get clear first–move past our own resistance, on what actually is pleasurable and not an escape from reality.
It’s bullshit to say we cannot experience pleasure til the hard work is complete.
We have to believe we deserve it!
If we’re on a diet, we may spoil ourselves with a new piece of clothing or a favorite food once we hit a goal, but we make ourselves wait for that joy. Why wouldn’t we treat ourselves kindly along the way, giving into pleasure, letting pleasure lead us rather than pain?
Some of us pretend to experience pleasure, we show the world, we’re all about it, but inside…..that’s a different story! We’re wrapped tight, watching our every move, because the minute we screw up, we fear the criticism of others, and most of all the inner critic within us.
Anything, in which we hold pleasure back, as though we don’t deserve it yet, is a disservice to our heart, mind and soul.
The pleasure principle is to be open to the unexpected, the abundant, because it will surely come when we give pleasure to ourselves every day!
Whatever we focus on we attract. When we take pleasure in life, big or small, we’re magnetizing more of it to our lives. Focus on fear, and what we don’t want, and SURPRISE… it shows up sooner or later.
What we learn through pleasure matters and stays with us.
What if we were to accept everything in our life as good? In spite of the things, which drive us crazy or that keep us awake at night? We have a choice in how we want to feel, even when we don’t have a choice of circumstances.
If we accept every little irritating circumstance, just as it is–which means we don’t have to love it, but stop fighting it and say ‘okay’ this is how it is right now, what does that feel like? As though a weight has lifted?
When we focus on what is truly good and working in our lives, by not taking it for granted, and giving it our attention, we allow it to expand.
Just by this simple exercise, we create space for pleasure. Is it that easy? Not really, because we have to retrain our brains to get off the punishment and pain plan.
1. Write down a list of pleasurable things you can give to yourself.
2. Do one of those items (if not more) daily.
3. Accept your life as good. Even the things you want to change.
4. Find people to support the pleasure principle.
5. When you start punishing yourself, break up the crappy mantra in your mind, by DOING something, which gives you pleasure. (this is hard to do when you’re used to beating yourself up–it feels counter-intuitive–but do it anyway)
6. Start to expect more good everywhere you go, no matter where it is you go…..create pleasure.
7. Say YES to life, even if you feel you don’t deserve it.
The more you say YES to the good, the pleasurable juiciness in life, the more you will have of it! It also helps your perspective when unfortunate circumstances arise, nothing is as bad as it used to be when you were in a constant state of hard work with little reward.