A Perfect Life
What is a perfect life?
Usually it’s the definition we reserve for other people: A life we observe and think, “Wow, they have it all!”
Some of us look at someone else’s life as a goal for what we want too, while others use it as a means of comparison to beat ourselves up and constantly feel less deserving.
We may even feel like we’re a complete and total failure when we look at someone who we think has it more together; someone who got lucky or seems to live a charmed existence.
The perfect life only has validity in allowing our imperfections (and life’s curveballs) to co-exist with what we deem good enough. It’s to accept the whole as-is and see the beauty.
Once we accept things as they are, right now, we can then look at what we want to create from there, then live into that goal.
For a reality check, what we deem “perfect” is usually far off the mark. We know this is true every time a new story breaks about a public figure with their carefully constructed image, which turns out not to be so perfect.
For many of us, we can look in our own neighborhoods, Facebook, the office or anywhere in the world for carefully constructed images that are not what they seem.
Living a carefully designed image is actually a life of quiet desperation.
It takes a lot of energy to pretend, and there is the constant pursuit for what will fill the void, which in turn creates a wider gap between who the person really is and who they display.
And sometimes these same people make small confessions or show a crack in their armor, making them seem more relatable, only to quickly withdraw back into their carefully cultivated images.
Often the people we idolize, who we think live a perfect Facebook post life are not really living what they post. They have their own crap too.
Everyone has crap, and yet what is it that makes us think someone else’s crap is less toxic than our own?
Perhaps someone is more successful in certain parts of their lives… or it just looks that way. Realistically, there’s something to be said for luck, timing, and being in the right place at the right time. Not that it’s the entire picture, because to achieve luck, we have to be “open” to opportunities, which might be a risk.
A risk in getting out of our comfort zone.
Something unfamiliar and not resembling a real opportunity could be the game changer for us. And yet, some of us will keep playing it safe, stuck in the discomfort of what we already know.
Fear is a fucker.
People with carefully constructed images live in a lot of fear too. We all experience it, because we’re human. The difference is, to live a perfect life we must be authentically who we are…living our truth.
Authenticity leads us to wholeness, which in turn creates a perfect life, not an idealized version that everything we touch turns to gold, but one we can own and love. A perfect life has nothing to do with what we own or what we present to the world.
A perfect life may include the following:
1. Acceptance and forgiveness: Really accepting all of our mistakes, including decisions we made from fear or lack, and everything that didn’t work. Forgive it all.
2. Love: Once we do number 1, number 2 is easier. We see the flaws in others and love them for it too. The more love we have for ourselves, the more compassion we have for the world.
3. Honesty: First figure out what you deny, push away or don’t want to admit to yourself… and then live that truth. Hardest on this list to do for some of us.
4. Fun: Daily.
5. Doing what you love everyday, even if it is for 10 minutes. It keeps us connected to our internal joy.
6. Making happiness our own responsibility: It is not the validation of others that leads to a perfect life. If anything this will keep us settling for the bread crumbs we’ve learned to survive on regularly. Instead it’s to create boundaries that matter. Deciding our YES and our NO based on our desires, not pleasing someone at our expense so they give us back something.
7. Let go. Whatever you beat yourself up with or hold hostage… release it. Get rid of the image of perfection as an idealized life.
Whatever we resist persists, so as long as we stand against something it will continue to be the issue and hold our focus. A perfect life is to be completely in love with it all, no matter where we currently stand.