Only you “know,” what you want right now.
No one else, even your well-meaning, closest friend, mate, parent or advice-giving stranger has an inkling.
It amazes me how we can disappoint someone else by NOT living up to the potential they have set up for us.
What you want for “you” can be based on several things (beyond basic needs) such as:
1. Your expectations of what you “think or believe” is best for you. (And is this based on a perfect picture that you believe, once you have what you want, all will be good?)
2. Another person’s expectations for you (but is that what you truly want?)
3. The expectations of what “right or perfect” are in our society and therefore your want is not really your want?
4. The desire for pleasure.
5. The desire for pain.
6. The desire to fail or succeed.
7. And wanting to forge your own path in this world.
The list may be long of what YOU may want for YOU.
The list is your list alone, no one else need have an opinion or statement, which should “force” you to change your mind. Changes to whatever it is that you want, should come from within and based on believing whatever you are doing is for your own fulfillment.
Sometimes people observe us and believe they know what is best for us.
Most of the time they don’t, they are making an assumption based on what they know of you in the outer world, not the inner world.
I am not saying there aren’t useful suggestions from others, but when someone looks at you with sad eyes and says, things like “if you only dressed this way,” “if you only quit your job and went into this line of work,” “if you only went to school and got your degree in something that you have no interest in,” “if you would only get your shit together and see that you are on the wrong path,” “if you would only get married, divorced, get a sex change, etc…” ……and so on.
In other words, “please change to make me happy, except I won’t really be happy, because I will find something else that I believe you will need to do that will make me happy, so just follow my instructions for living and you’ll be just fine.”
The funny thing is the person doling out all this advice may be in need of their own good word.
We all have the freedom to choose; we don’t have to give it away in the hope of being happy by some expectation that has nothing to do with who we truly are inside.
The key is to know thyself. Trust thyself.
And know whatever YOU want for you, is okay. No approval from others necessary or needed, besides, really… that is subject to change.
Approve of you…give yourself the opportunity to explore what you want. Make wrong turns, go backwards, forwards, sideways or leap into the unknown!!
The experiences we encounter in our everyday life help us to formulate what we want, as we make decisions for or against our desires. Our experiences may lead to us changing what we want and also why what we want, may continue to elude us.
On a deeper level, what we WANT, which leads us to deep fulfillment and happiness has nothing to do with the outside world.
It has even less to do with the opinions of others.
When we are in search, we don’t find.
When we look within, a whole world awaits us and what we TRULY want has its seeds from this place deep in our soul.
Creativity is the greatest expression fo who we are…if you continue to open the door to your creativity, it will expand all areas of your life.
When we feed that fire, all of a sudden, “the want” becomes an “is.”
Feed yourself kindness, compassion, happiness, laughter, peace and all sorts of appetizing, caring thoughts, ideas, words, gestures, experiences and watch what you want, shift, change and grow.
Not having what we want is possibly the best fertile soil to grow from if you apply awareness to yourself.
And try not to focus on the disappointment.
If you start to understand “why” you want something and the meaning you have attached to it…you will feel yourself expanding into the wholeness that you already are…almost a feeling of filling up the tank. Your tank.
And realizing that it is not SO important to have what you want and even less important to consider what others want FOR you.
In fact, the more you open the door beyond the thinly defined, focused want to an anything is possible attitude, amazing things start to happen.
Things you never dreamed of will come into your life without invitation or searching; they will come because you are participating in your life. You are living from a deeply held knowing of who you are and what matches you will show up.
Just imagine the possibilities….