As we approach the new year, that question is posed when New Year’s resolutions abound. You want to do things differently or make your life a success, but you go about it in the same old way.
We always seem surprised that by February our resolutions or intentions have fallen by the wayside. When things don’t magically change or success isn’t knocking on your door…. the auto-pilot response is to go back to the same ol’ thing, life before Jan 1st. You may say, oh screw it, what intentions or resolutions? They become a painful memory.
I say painful, because in our own eyes we have failed yet again; we find another reason or excuse as to why we didn’t follow through with our resolution. We never get to the root of “why” we don’t get where we want to go.
Sometimes the things we say we want aren’t really in our heart, they are in our head. It’s not to say that what we mentally want cannot come to us or that we fail to make it happen, it is that we come to find those things lack a certain sense of fulfillment.
Many years ago when I was married, I kept thinking “if only”, if only this was different I’d be happy or if that would change I’d be ecstatic. And sometimes it would change and I’d feel the same way. Why? Because what I wanted was an ideal picture in my head of what life was supposed to look like and it had nothing to do with my heart. And so it was never fulfilling and usually I’d have to scrape, force, pull, battle to get there.
Resolutions and intentions that are from the head make us lose momentum, because they aren’t what we truly want for ourselves.
My issue with setting intentions that were fulfilling was I couldn’t see the larger pattern. One in which I had no idea what I really wanted! I had no idea how to even investigate what I really wanted, because that was too scary to even connect with and would require me to make decisions that made me ill at ease.
When you set your resolutions and intentions for the NEW YEAR, can you tell where they originate inside of you? If you want to lose weight, do you understand the reason, WHY? Or is it seem like what you “should” do? What is the connection you have to the resolutions you make?
And bigger questions would be if you have made these “promises” to yourself in the past and not kept to them, what will be different this time? More self-discipline? More denial or substituting this quest for what you really want? What is the truth for you?
It is not about sticking to this commitment of what you want to happen, it is to understand your relationship to what you are requesting of yourself. It is to know what will bring you true fulfillment and happiness within yourself.
Nothing you pose to have happen on the outside will provide you with fulfillment and contentment unless you are doing it from your heart and soul, period. If you succeed with an intention and there is not a heart connection, you may be satisified for a moment and then wonder what the next thing is you should commit to as far as expectations go of yourself.
Yes, many of our resolutions are based on expectations. These expectations may not even belong to you, they may belong to others, society or a skewed idea as to what happiness is once you have “it all”. Whatever that is, you deem “it all” to be for you.
Resolutions …can you get of your own way? You can if you discover what it is that makes you create the resolution and what it is at the root that deters you from success.
Oftentimes with resolutions, the ones which matter from your heart WILL compel you to make yourself pretty uncomfortable. Which is GOOD, that means change is happening!!
Once you see clearly what inspires you to set this intention, may also inspire you to take a leap of faith.
The ONLY thing which you may trip over will be your own belief system of what you believe is possible for you. That is where the insidious patterns come into play. They show up when you are attempting to keep the promise to yourself. And of course, life also has a way of showing up to ask you how much you really want something for yourself…it asks how much are you willing to let go of what you believe about yourself to have what you want beyond your own limited thinking?
How can you get out of your own way?
- Be clear in what you are committing to when setting your resolutions.
- Ask why you want to accomplish this declared purpose, what does it mean to you?
- And then as you see yourself on the journey to your goal, look at the potholes….what are the potholes which always seem to be in your path?
- Do you see the patterns, which hinder you from attainment? What is the emotion behind those patterns…can you sit with it and see what story it tells you?
- Once you start seeing your story unfold, can you fall into the point of origin? The point where your pattern originated out of a “false” belief you have about yourself?
- Can you change the belief by taking “different or opposite” action now?
All of our limitations start with the core beliefs about our abilities, who we believe ourselves to be and what is possible or impossible for us to achieve. Once we get a glimpse of the birth of our limiting beliefs, we can take action NOW in the present to move toward having what we want in our lives.
And don’t forget that funny Universe…always challenging us to be truly who we are….setting up obstacles that may look like dead ends or hurdles too high for us to leap. In actuality these are opportunities to jump up and touch the stars, we just have to go about it in the most authentic manner possible in being true to ourselves….
And what a great place to live from…our hearts and souls, moving toward the goals we so deeply want for our lives.
So as you create your resolutions this year, see how you can get out of your own way of getting to the finish line. And if you need a little help, email me: Tracy@13degreez.com. You can also check my website for more info: www.13degreez.com.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!