Nowadays, I see it as the formula to giving up a losing battle.
We battle and fight things in the outer world and our OWN internal landscape much of the time. What is it we hope to win? Happiness? Money? To be right or vindicated? To get our way? There is a fairly long collection of items on the list of “If “fill in the blank” was just the way I wanted it, then I would be happy.”
Internal battles are the best; we want things to be different. Whether it is a situation, another person or ourselves—what we’re saying is… currently the state of affairs is not acceptable. WHY??? There is no magic pill to a perfectly stupendous world, especially when outside circumstances are what rules our lives.
The quickest way to peace—accept it all, just as it is. Really, just offer a little unconditional love aka unconditional acceptance and watch miracles happen.
Sure you can go to war and take another’s land, become the new leader of that territory. Now what? More battles to maintain and attain more…and when does it end? What’s the goal? Is there happiness or is it a false sense of superiority or security?
Surrender on the other hand is to let go.
Its to walk away from the battle or lay down your arms at the battle line and stick around. Surrender makes it possible to not suffer, in fact its the opposite; it is freedom. It allows you the opportunity to become unburdened with how you had to have things culminate into a predestined outcome and instead, you get to BE free to let things be just as they are, right now. Whew, glad to give that 1000 lb backpack up and hang out! How exciting to just see what “miracles” happen when you let nature take its course, instead of forcing the river or your partner, or YOURSELF.
I have learned this over and over.
More recently, among other things… I’ve learned about unconditional love. There is no ego in “love”. It is to surrender to no battle lines. It is to accept another as is, to allow them to be the fullest expression of who they are—it is a gift. Conserve your energy, don’t exhaust yourself fighting a losing battle to get your way or change another’s mind. Throw up the white flag. Ask yourself if you want love or to be right? Love is connection; being right is usually disconnection.
Let go of holding onto someone, an idea or anything which feels like grasping, manipulating, or any other form of ego control—there is no control, it is an illusion. Your only control is your actions and reactions; how you choose to “be” in any given moment. So…why not keep choosing happiness? Or love?
Surrender to love. What is really important? Self-righteous indignation, because you didn’t get your way? Or realizing, someone doesn’t have to give into your demands to make you happy; instead you can make “you” happy. It is really the only way to sustain happiness. And it keeps love alive, respecting where another being is at in that moment; alleviating them of the responsibility of your happiness…it gives freedom. And feeling free means you get to choose…and I know when I get the freedom to make my own choices unencumbered by guilt or pressure…I usually make a choice that is inclusive, rather than divisive.
The majority of people are not trying to harm each other in relationship. Most of us make choices we think will allow us to be happy or feel good and other times we make decisions, which continue to create misery. If you bring awareness to your choices and ask if it is your head or heart, which are making the choice…you get to be in control of you, because every heart decision is a choice for happiness….and allowing, accepting and going with the flow of love.
We can choose love and just “be”. It allows us to be supportive. And let go of our own pain, the pain that we believe things need to be different. Sometimes it is about accepting and surrendering to knowing the best things in life don’t come through force, they come through being open and accepting. So throw down your shield, armor and club….and just “be” with what is…..and watch what takes hold, you will be surprised, I guarantee!