How Not to Go Bananas with Goal Setting
Trader Joe’s Gone Bananas is my new favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner. Okay, well maybe not dinner, but it is just a perfect blend of chocolate and banana frozen together for a very satisfying flavor explosion of ecstasy in every bite. Mmmmm, mmmmm GOOD!
This post isn’t really about my one-item smorgasbord. It’s about going bananas! Or something like that.
I woke up today, after having a fun little get together in my backyard last night. I have a very cool fire-pit and wonderful space to entertain. But I am getting off topic here. Where was I? Oh yeah, waking up.
I did my meditation, which is guided, because for me I need something to focus on and I tend to pull them off YouTube, which is great unless you get the commercials about something violent as you’re trying to listen to the birds, and nature.
I spent a leisurely morning trying to figure out a FUN way to write this post. I couldn’t think of one, so I recorded my latest podcast.
You see this blog post is supposed to cover goal-setting. And it just sounded so BORING, that I couldn’t wrap myself around it (I am giving away a real fun worksheet. Yes it really is fun–you can download it below). To be even more honest, I have been in a place of HUGE ambivalence and resistance around some of my goals.
Do I really want what I say I want?
Let’s see. I do. Sorta. Well, let’s take one of my goals. I do want a relationship. And then I don’t.
I want one for some amazing reasons, truly I do. But my ambivalence is in my laziness and my resistance is in the effort to actually make it a big focus in my life. I have a dating coach who has been listening to me dig my heels in about having ease around meeting someone… you know, just having him show up on my doorstep. Though that could be a bit scary. I mean, what would you do if someone showed up one day and said “Hi, I’m your new relationship!” LOL
I love the idea of kismet; just meeting someone out of the blue. It’s happened before and I would love for it to happen again.
Anyway, back to the point of this blog: my resistance and ambivalence to my goal. Here’s the thing. When we (notice I said “WE”) have a goal, there is bound to be some resistance and ambivalence. And to get clear, you must determine if there’s a competing issue. In my case it’s my laziness to go to singles’ parties, show up in places single men might be and continue my online foray into the wonderful world of dating. Was that laziness stronger than my actual deep desire and goal of a happy, healthy relationship?
Of course this comes after determining if this is an actual goal I want for myself, which it is, and I can thank my little worksheet I put together for that! Yes, you can use it too and figure out if your unreachable goals are really ones you want, or get some clarity on what’s standing in the way to get to em’, just click to download. (it’s free)
I know my competing value of laziness was super strong when I discovered it, which would explain my current dating issue (talking to men online and losing interest or not following through because I made a decision quickly, so I could basically remain in ambivalence.). And as the days have gone by since my dating coach cornered me on my B.S…. I am growing less lazy.
I am feeling less resistance and actually started looking around for how I can work at this (with ease) without making it into a second job. I am committed to the desire for a relationship, and that’s the key for everyone. Make sure your commitment to what you want is bigger than all your excuses!
Yes, it really is… just make it a bit bigger than the resistance and stay connected to the journey. Even when you feel a total disconnect, trust yourself to get back in the saddle because you will if you really want it! And it’s okay to have days when you have just gone bananas!
Oh and don’t forget to download this free worksheet. It helps!! Really. I figure whatever helps me can help you too.
Click to download, in case you haven’t yet!