Ever Belonged On The Island Of Misfit Toys?
Having heard this reference more than once this week, it got me thinking…
There have been times in the past, I definitely felt I was a resident on the island of misfit something-or-others.
The misfits. Those who ‘feel’ they don’t belong, perhaps they’re different, unique and just don’t conform, to the standards around them.
Misfits create their own standards. Well, once they grow the confidence to not give two shits about what anyone else thinks…and that in reality, there’s really nothing wrong with them. (No more than anyone else)
Freedom expressed or unexpressed is a state of mind.
Personally, I’ve always sucked at conforming, and still do.
It’s not a form of rebellion per se, it’s more of a feeling inside of my body, of my guts being ripped out, when having to pretend to be someone else….okay, perhaps not so harsh, but faking it to fit in, is something I’m pretty much incapable of doing.
Fitting in for some can be described as suffocating, and provoking extreme anxiety. The idea of capitulating where it doesn’t allow for their individuality is painful and yet, there’s still the desire to know they’re okay. The struggle has more than likely been there since childhood; the ability to accept themselves.
People that subscribe to their being different, change the world….just by being who they are and living the full expression of that self.
When we live that way, we’re no longer in our minds, labeled a misfit; we see our individuality.
None of us have to go out of our way to be unique, it’s those of us who allow our ‘real self’ to show through…who create our lives from that place, rather than hide it, as many do. For some they cannot seem to help it, they were taught there’s a lot of shame in being who they are–so they conform; they fit in…they’re afraid of loss.
Loss of love….validation…identity…finances….comfort…relationships….achievement….and so on.
Misfits questioning the norm or what’s taught to them as a belief of someone else, usually find something inside, which shows them other truths are available; creating their own perception. It releases them to go after what their souls deepest desires are, and as a result, they imbue change and find true personal meaning in their lives.
Not that people who conform don’t find meaning, it’s just a different set of values.
In several instances, misfits may have felt, as though they’ve been on the outside looking in; their point of view is different.
They realize so many societal concepts and perhaps, what works for other people, doesn’t work for them.
The key is in acceptance. Instead of trying to conform or beat themselves up over who they are not, it’s to accept what’s contrary.
Acceptance means we don’t have to fear our uniqueness.
Fear of being judged no longer exists. People will judge no matter what we say or do, so why not be exactly who we are?
For some of us, that’s a major part of the journey, unearthing who we are and what makes us tick. We may have buried our uniqueness decades ago, only to now, feel a deeper sense of unrest within us that is vague and difficult to pinpoint.
Our limitations, because of the fear within, can keep us feeling like a misfit, even if we appear to join in well within our peers and other groups.
Each individual shines a light when they discard the chains of living an identity that doesn’t suit them. In serving the world, if we show up doing what makes us happy, we have more to give. We open up to a whole different perspective, instead of our fearful one that we’ll be all alone if we choose ourselves.