Don't tell me how I should think, feel or be….Sh*t happens.
How often do YOU find either people in your life, society or even YOU are telling YOU what YOU should FEEL, THINK, ACT or BE regarding your life? Fairly often.
How do you get clear?
How do you find what “YOU” truly believe is true for you? Especially when you want to please the rest of the world and some odd hidden expectation that YOU have of YOURSELF in how YOU should fit into that picture.
What happens when you shut all the voices off in your head and listen to your heart and what is true for you?
A huge “MOTHER F—N” change is what will occur. GUARANTEED.
The difference between fear talking to you about how YOU should think or feel and your own soul… is like the difference between being locked in your closet and skydiving, with a lot of room in between.
When you cut FEAR off at the knees and decide to stand up for your heart; YOU may be scared shitless.
What if YOU are rejected for not towing the rope, making others comfortable by conforming to their wishes, end up without a job, friend, lover, money, et al? That is what holds us back.
We fear losing the inauthentic that we hold onto for dear life. We fear losing the inauthentic pieces and parts. AND YET, WE CRAVE THE AUTHENTIC. We cry out for it!!!
We fear losing.
We fear we are nothing without all these things telling us we are something.
We fear if we stand, we stand alone.
It is actually the opposite.
We MISS what we never get!
Do you find yourself feeling that sense of absence, lack or missing? YES, that one…maybe its a sense of empty for you.
It is what happens when we live in our heads.
When we live in fear and think OTHERS’ thoughts, BELIEVE what we FEEL in our heart is WRONG or believe who we are just sucks and if only we could BE better, THINK the right thoughts, feel the right things and DO the right things that shitty shit feeling would go away.
But it doesn’t. Not in that way. And definitely NOT from doing the RIGHT thing.
It comes from NOT giving fear the reins.
It comes from KNOWING what is true for you, so that you think those authentic heart-lovin’ thoughts. It comes from embracing your feelings, whatever they may be and it comes from being cruddy, beautiful you—all of you.
When we let others influence how we FEEL about OURSELVES, we are going to REMAIN unhappy.
Other people fluctuate what they want and need too, just like you. There is no pleasing no one by twisting yourself into a pretzel.
Yet, there is pleasing others….most definitely. It comes from pleasing yourself.
And the realization that when you ACT or THINK from FEAR you affect others. You affect how they feel about YOU or YOUR situation (not how they feel about themselves), they make decisions based on reciprocity, authenticity, genuine truth, investment of energy in and out, and may choose to walk away when all your energy goes into instability, insecurity, pain, inauthenticity and fear. There is no real connection. You are not giving any part of you and what you most want in your life may leave….which is the last thing you actually want.
Let love in. Let love do its thing. Love will hold hands with fear. It will make it okay for fear to exist, but it will not allow fear to control. And when you act from love, the net affect on others is reciprocity, bonding, more love, happiness, because no one is focusing on the fear.
Love is acceptance for all that is inside of you.
So, you had SHITTY EXPERIENCES and you “THINK” it came from stupid mistakes, trusting others and yourself, making the wrong decisions, not thinking through a decision, giving your power away, falling in love, falling out of love, listening to bad advice and so on.
Your shitty experiences are not based on all those statements. NOPE.
Did you ever hear the term, “Shit happens!”
No matter how well you choose a decision, a lover, a friend, a job, a home, a school, an activity, etc… you are at risk!!
You are at risk for life HAPPENING!
That is a given and a definite circumstance.
Life will happen and all sorts of stuff, challenges, miracles, things popping out of left field, things you anticipated and didn’t anticipate will happen. WHY? Because shit happens.
So, what does any of this have to do with getting the hell out of your head and living from your heart ? A LOT!!!
First off, as you can see from the evidence here, no matter what you do or don’t do, shit will happen.
YOU can analyze, strategize, ask a million other people what you should think, feel or choose as your decision ONLY to find, shit happens.
We cannot prepare, all we can do is BE. Be YOU! Think what makes you feel good. FEEL all those passionate feelings about life and everything in it–why not? And put it all together and stand your ground for your heart.
Fuck your head.
Or at least hold hands with it–hold hands with “IF”. “IF” is fear. If this happens, if that happens, if there is an earthquake, if I make a mistake, if he/she leaves me, if I choose the wrong lunch, if I say the wrong thing, if I am ME and no one likes ME, if if, if, if…..“IF” shit happens? Then you deal with it and know….this too shall pass.
Nothing will break us, but our own self.
We stand guard over the castle, not allowing ourselves to trust that we can make it on this journey across our own moat.
We can trust that we will still be in one piece, and that life will do whatever it does and we will survive.
Love all your experiences. Let FEAR do what it wants. Don’t control it, just ask ….what would love do?
When we make decisions from our heart and they fall apart, it doesn’t hurt as much.
The reason is when you choose from your heart–it is authentic, true, honest you. It FEELS real, because it is real. You don’t have the inclination to beat yourself up as you do when you choose from fear.
When you choose from your head aka fear, you kick yourself a million times when something doesn’t go as planned or falls apart.
You sit and think of all the strategies and self-protection you didn’t employ. You think next time, I’ll be smarter. You carry it like a war wound. You expect to be hurt and not recover. Your world is small.
And unfortunately, when you choose form your head and fear, more shit happens. You lose the authentic; what is real; love; special moments; celebration; unity; harmony and happiness.
When the choice is from the heart, there is no berating of yourself, because you did the only thing you could do.
You chose what was true and if it didn’t turn out, maybe there is something better suited to you or maybe it was just an experience that you can look at from a wider perspective of not just the bad, but the good too.