Don’t Change to Find Love

Don’t Change to Find Love

love

We all have the same potential for love, but some of us think our path is more difficult in getting to that loving relationship than it is for others.

We just need to find our fatal flaw.

When I started coaching, I was told to take on three free clients so I could do my practicum. Being the overachiever I was (past tense), I took on four people. This of course was in the middle of me losing everything around me, except my health (extremely thankful to have that!!).

At the time, I was not sure about the whole coaching thing, but I had committed to taking them through eight weeks of becoming unburdened, clearer and less hindered by old beliefs. Basically, it was about them seeing their patterns so they could stop sabotaging their efforts in love.

Out of the four people, two are now married. Was it our time together that did it? Perhaps. 

I tend to believe in fate somewhat, which means I also believe there is a timing to things too.

The reason I am writing this is I am soooooooo over all the claims that if you just do this one thing, or follow what was successful for someone else, you too will be sauntering down the aisle. Change who you are and the pearl in the oyster is yours to claim!

First off, getting to “I do” is not a promise of happily ever after, and honestly, people getting married are no different from you or me. No one has the magic key to an honest, healthy and happy relationship. It’s a process of stepping forward, sideways and backwards and stumbling a lot. Perfection is not the key to happiness.

No one is the same, so how could it be a one-size-fits-all formula?

As a psychic, most people come to me about their love life. As in will they have one? Will their current relationship improve, or is everyone doomed to a house full of cats and warm milk to keep them company?

People in and out of relationships can come from scarcity or abundance. People want what they believe they cannot have… whether they can’t has nothing to do with reality.

It comes down to our beliefs and being genuinely open. We can be insecure, needy, even crazy and be in a relationship.

Haven’t we all heard people say, “I wasn’t looking and then he/she came into my life,” or “I gave up on love and boom it happened!” Or even better… “I redid my whole house with Feng Shui, lit candles every night and stared at my visionboard and one day he/she appeared.”

I visualized a man for a long time, never focusing on what he looked like, but what he might feel like. And then I would stop because no one appeared. I could visualize other areas of my life and I would see a change in opportunities showing up as reality.

I randomly started a visualization again recently; this time I stopped myself to ask why I was doing it. Was I sending a smoke signal to the Universe to deliver a man? Nope. For the first time, I realized I was coming from within. I really wanted a partnership in my life, as I am. Just me.

Below are some truths about being ready for love:

  1. If you’re an introvert or an extravert, it doesn’t matter, love can still find you.
  2. You can be needy, insecure and downright bratty at times, and love can still find you.
  3. Your weirdness is your special gift; embrace it and love can still find you.
  4. Stop listening to every guru (or crazy standard in your head) who tells you to look or act a certain way and love will definitely find you. Someone will not fall in love with you for your new dress or hairstyle, but perhaps they’ll like the confidence with it.

JUST BE YOU!!!!!

Psssst…it’s the key to confidence.

I recommend the following tips to make it easier on YOU in the process:

  1. Embrace either your masculinity or your femininity. Not because someone will magically appear, but life is easier; you shift when you start embracing this energetic essence in yourself.
  2. Make mistakes.
  3. Find your joy. Life is a whole lot better if you do something to please yourself daily. You will feel the wind dance and freedom like you never knew from limitation.
  4. Grow your communication skills, it makes rocky roads smoother.
  5. Self-awareness and self-worth leads to a better quality of life, so if you love yourself, you gain more inner peace and that is a lovely quality to bring to all of your relationships.

If you hold the door open to love, and getting out of your comfort zone to allow for growth, love will come. You can be closed and someone may come–but they will probably match you in being closed in some way too. It isn’t a grand gesture or proclamation. Remember relationships are our greatest teacher and when we’re ready for growth, I believe the partner shows up!

 

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