I was sharing this with a friend last week and thought I’d write it here.
I’ve been divorced for years and ran hiding for several of those years from any sort of serious commitment (even though I did live with someone). I’d say I’m thankful, this was the case–because I apparently needed all those lessons about myself, ones that included a lot of pain and a lot of struggle.
I am pretty happy being single these days and so, I decided to go on a date.
This meant applying make-up and wearing a top that matched my pants (rather than my wonderful workout wear I run around in most days), in fact the thought of gussying myself up, almost made me cancel…can you say l-a-x? 😉
Now, I don’t picture my future with 12 cats as my steadfast companions; I’d like to be partnered up! Single or in a relationship, my attitude is life is short, so it’s time for lotsa travel, fun and exploration in this world.
And really, intimacy, sure does sound nice!
So, I set an intention. I actually set it across the board in my life. I realized I had been a world class struggler! If there was a challenge….boy oh boy, sign my ass up!
I decided my intention was to only enter dating and relationships (and life) if it was easy; came to me with ease, consistency and stability. Meaning, it requires absolutely no struggle. Even though I’m lazy about getting dressed up, once I do it, I love it!! Why? Because I love my boots!! And the date after all, was supplying me with a chance to wear them. 😉
I met this dude for the date at a wine store tasting.
I knew intuitively even before arriving that I needed to not focus on if he was gonna be a “superstar” and really just take notice of what I liked or learned.
It was meant to be a short date, a meet and greet, if you will. Thanksgiving was arriving and with it the hustle and bustle, so we agreed to keep it short.
I met the guy at the door, he had already ordered himself up a glass of wine…he still was shaky, but did manage a smile and a difficult hug (ease?).
What did I like so far?
That this wine store had “WINE.“
Secondly, I liked the ambiance.
He walked me around and said he had a wine group he hosted there, enough so that the owner came over to us. Found the third thing I liked, 2 of the three owners own one of my fave wine places in Silverlake.
First thing I learned, was just because someone has their name on a wine label as an importer, doesn’t actually mean he’s an authority on what actually tastes good.
I fell in love more with Castelvetrano olives, once again!
Learned not all Beaujolais Nouveau are created the same…hmmm, what else?
My date explained how he brewed his own beer and now he loves wine. No more beer brewing for him. his reasons were many, starting with his ex-wife. She bought him his first brewing kit and decided she hated the smell of beer brewing, which he mentioned with a bit of disdain. Hmmm. He said beer brewing was a bit frustrating, cuz you get one little speck of yeast in it or your bottles smell like bleach and you’re screwed.
I also liked tasting one of my favorite things: manchego cheese.
Now I did pay attention to how the conversation flowed or didn’t in this case.
We had hiking in common. That was good. Ummm….what else?
After talking to the sommelier, I learned I may just embark on a new hobby, becoming a sommelier!!! “How fun!” Perhaps, I could become a level 1 or 2 just to take my curious self on a new adventure!
Anyone wanna join me?
So..as you can see, I learned A LOT and I liked A LOT.
I’ve learned to take a chance by saying yes, even when I much prefer staying in my yoga pants! I always know I’ll learn something or find something to like, and my date did teach me a couple of things too! He was a nice guy, just not for me and with my intention of ease, our conversation and the no chemistry meant, without a doubt, it did not fall into that category.
It still wasn’t a bad way to spend an hour. 🙂