Attachment
Monday Tip: Spill the Beans
Monday Tip: Spill the Beans Raise your hand if you’re keeping a secret from your partner, your family, your friends, dating prospects, etc. Maybe you don’t consider it a secret—you’re just leaving bits out or cherry-picking what you share. Everyone does that, right? It can be as “innocuous” as hiding shopping receipts or as big…
Read MoreMonday Tip: Spot Emotional Unavailability
Monday Tip: Spot Emotional Unavailability Last week’s tip was about not ignoring red flags, so this week I’m going a step further. One red flag I see people ignore all the time (or don’t actually see) is emotional unavailability. What do I mean by emotional unavailability? Someone who: Isn’t emotionally present or connected Doesn’t match…
Read MoreMonday Tip: Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Monday Tip: Don’t Ignore Red Flags We’ve all done this. There’s something we want (a relationship, a job, a house, etc.) so we ignore the signs that tell us to “abort mission.” The house’s electrical is shot, there’s a bunch of termite damage and the roof leaks… but it’s a beautiful Victorian and has so…
Read MoreMonday Tip: Write a Letter to Your Honeybun
Monday Tip: Write a Letter to Your Honeybun Last week I talked about burying your fairy tale and choosing reality, so this week we’re not just going to focus on reality… we’re going to make it happen. I’ll start with a quick personal story: When I was dating, I used to pick apart the guys…
Read MoreMonday Tip: Bury Your Fairy Tale
Monday Tip: Bury Your Fairy Tale Fairy tales can be fun fantasies when we’re kids, but in adulthood they can be incredibly painful. How long have you waited for your knight in shining armor or your perfect princess to show up? Someone who will rescue you from your ho-hum life and tell you how amazing…
Read MoreWhy Won’t My Partner Respect Me? It’s About Setting Healthy Relationship Boundaries
Why Won’t My Partner Respect Me? It’s About Setting Healthy Relationship Boundaries Debbie’s partner called her lazy because she didn’t organize the garage last weekend as planned. When she shrunk his sweater he snapped, “You’re lucky I stick around.” She dismissed his comments as “overly dramatic” and “half joking,” but still baked him cookies to…
Read More10 Signs of Emotionally Unavailable Men You’re Probably Missing
10 Signs of Emotionally Unavailable Men You’re Probably Missing You look around at the people in your life who appear to be in happy relationships. Plus those who want to be in one, but are comfortable with singlehood until that happens. You’re not in either camp. You are beyond ready for a functional relationship,…
Read MoreWhy Trying To Avoid Pain Doesn’t Make you Happy
Pain sucks. No one likes it, but those who are securely attached deal with it as part of life while Avoidants go to great lengths in an effort to avoid it. Who are avoidants or those who are anxious avoidants? In the world of insecure attachment, these people are the ones who wanted nothing to…
Read MoreAre You an Avoidant?
I used to be a Class-A Avoidant. I was an over-doer, over-achiever obsessed with my image… meaning I went to great lengths to hide my true self in order to pretend I had it together. Not only did I NOT have it together, I was an internal mess. I was exhausted from trying to…
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