Can I have your approval…please?

Can I have your approval…please?

Painting by Chagall

What would you be doing right now?

Or…

Who would be your partner?

Or…

Where would you be living, if you had listened to your heart?

Maybe you’d be here.

Life is never perfect, so why do our expectations reflect the desire for perfection from our decisions in the personal parts of our life?

Do we believe we’ll  finally make the magical decision, in which the stars align?

Maybe for a moment, but it’s usually followed by some unforeseen hardship or pain that we did not anticipate, which may have us thinking we made a bad decision. (Again)

No matter what way you choose, you’ll hit a RED LIGHT somewhere, a glitch in our perfect image of a spectacular outcome. It is life.

Find yourself making a decision with your head? You’re probably seeking approval.

When we make a decision from OUR heart, we’re more really connected to it and bear disapproval.

Yep! Approval, validation, I’m okay, smart, balanced, mature and not a f—k-up! It’s what we search from gaining a group consensus; follow the rules of others, do the right thing (according to who?), over-think, over-analyze, get stuck with indecision or fear, and second-guess ourselves.

Approval?

Do you approve of me?

It might be an invisible entity whose approval you seek?

Getting permission from people to approve of what you want to do, can feel like a matter of life and death. Sometimes we need to hear, “It’s not a crazy idea” or perhaps, we want to hear “Are you nuts?!!” 

We ask, even when we already know what we’re going to do, crazy or not!

In taking a poll though, we don’t trust ourselves, especially listening to our head, not our heart. Fear of ANOTHER bad decision, we can’t be trusted, so going along with what someone recommends, leads us to believe it’s a sure bet!

BUT….

Unless the decision agrees with our heart, we will regret that choice. If we went along to get along, chances are we needed approval.

It’s those pesky childhood beliefs; telling us we’re incapable, stupid, a loser, not to be trusted and always, always failing at something, it undermines the very life we want to live.

Recognize those old voices for exactly what they are, you can choose to ignore their command and make a decision for yourself, which “feels” right.

Approval from others is fickle, subjective and untrustworthy, it’s based on their experiences, opinions and perception.

Making a decision without consulting with your friends, family or the National Enquirer? Uh-oh!

Afraid to tell others, because someone will give you a hard time or make you feel bad? Ugh!

Can you stand behind your decision, your commitment and let it speak louder, so your peeps are supportive? YES?

In gaining a consensus, we my fear going against it to do what we really want. Can you recall times you DID the right thing only to realize it was a HUGE mistake? Yeah, me too.

It is not worth the price anymore.

I’d love everyone to agree with all of my decisions, but it’s not possible. I’d love to please the world, but only in taking care of my well-being.

It is just not possible to live happily and confidently, if I worry about approval. Worry means I won’t follow my heart when making a decision.

I have watched miracles happen in situations, where my head is telling me to be a jerk, close a door or be stubborn and instead, I opened my heart wider.

Some tough decisions originate from our heart.

Staying or going based on what we need to do can be tough. Dig deep, find your truth, even your hard decisions will become solid.

Self-love means doing what’s right for us without compromise. Make decisions with full confidence no matter what the result, because it’s your truth.

Results are related to our growth, it feeds our well-being. Second guessing means our head is searching for approval, and often when we live our truest, happiest existence it is way beyond the approval of others.

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2 thoughts on “Can I have your approval…please?

  1. Mark - February 17, 2013 at 8:26 am

    One of your best pieces!

    Reply

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