Your results showed that you approach relationships mostly from a Securely Attached stance. If you have found my website then I am guessing you may want to go back and answer some of the questions on the quiz. In searching for a solution, and finding yourself here we often want it to be about other people and not ourselves. And so, in answering any quiz we may err on the side of making ourselves look good in a certain light. We tend to have a bias when answering, so we feel better about ourselves. But do we?
I am guessing in your search and finding yourself taking the quiz, that you, my friend, fall somewhere on the spectrum of Insecure to Securely Attached.
You had a parent or caregiver that was emotionally supportive and provided comfort when you were upset or afraid as a child. They made the effort to be caring when it came to your needs and created a safe environment for you to express yourself. They did not cling too tightly nor allow too much freedom. Boundaries, for the most part, were clear.
In response, you felt safe in being yourself. As a kid, you were more empathetic and less aggressive than insecurely attached children. While you may have expressed pain when your caregiver left, you knew they would return. You could self-soothe when they did leave you.
While you may struggle in some areas, as a securely attached adult, you are willing to be open and vulnerable with another person. You don’t see another way of being. You don’t need a partner to feel any certain way—if your partner is in a bad mood—you do not personalize it. You are your happiest in a committed relationship. If something in your life needs to change, as a securely attached person, you will take the necessary steps to do it. You may fear change, but feel everything will be okay and so you are willing to risk the status quo for a chance at something better.
So what can I do?
Join my free FB group where you will get tips, tools, and organized monthly challenges to help you start breaking through these patterns.