Assumptions and Real Love Don’t Mix
Standing in front of him, as he states the plans for his weekend trip, and you’re wondering why after months of dating he doesn’t introduce you when he goes to visit family?
You don’t ask. You feel hurt and seethe inside.
Your husband keeps coming home later and later from work. You feel something is funny, but tell yourself he is just working hard for the family.
You don’t ask. You pray.
Your girlfriend says she is busy, so you make excuses for her, instead of noticing these are just bullshit reasons to maintain a distance…..
Your mate tells you a story, instead of getting to the truth, you start to strategize how you will act, perhaps you will people please or be in opposition, and focus on getting things to stay the same, so you’re in control.
There are so many scenarios where questions are not asked and why is that my friends?
It gives the illusion of a loss of control.
It’s easier to live in a false sense of comfort than to rattle the cage of your relationship and deal with the fall out.
Change is scary and most of us would rather create a story of fiction than to get into the nonfiction parts of our lives.
Here’s the deal…..
When you avoid the truth by not asking the direct questions (kindly) and seeking a bona fide REAL answer, all you do is prolong your own misery and the inevitable ugly mess, which will transpire at some point.
All items swept under the rug do not go away, they become a BIG lump.
Get some courage together, even if you’re shaky and words slowly tumble out of your mouth as you choke….do it. You will feel better, even if things appear beyond your control!
Make sure when you ask the questions, it is not to accuse or to corner someone, it is to seek out of curiosity and understand on a deeper level, so you can make appropriate choices for yourself.
Making appropriate choices for yourself is huge, because you get to be in charge of YOU. It allows you to be vulnerable (which is your truth) and connect to your authenticity.
Real love requires authenticity. And I say this as real love being a place of non-attachment to outcomes, which feed our subconscious confirmation of old crappy beliefs. Real love requires transparency, otherwise we will build barriers of resentment against it.
Remember assumptions are stories YOU have created, they keep you in a bubble–at a distance, because you’ve assumed all sorts of crap about someone else that may or may not be true. You’ve judged it and made it into a story where you’re either the victim or the hero…
You make it where IN YOUR MIND you cannot lose. And at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself what you’re really holding onto and why.
What are the questions you are afraid to ask??? To listen to more on love, check out my radio show on Love vs. Attachment.