4 strategies to not end up here, again!
Experience tells us a story. It lets us know we are doing the right thing or definitely going the wrong direction, or is it?
The problem with experience is depending on what our core beliefs are (I am wrong, I’m bad, I’m unworthy, etc), we may only see it the past as a totality. “This didn’t work last time,” “I have been hurt in the past, ain’t no way I’m letting it happen again!” And so on….
Then…despite our mental protestations we go for it and end up in the same exact circumstances once again!!! Or even worse, we do what we can to avoid the past from happening right now, only to find here we are once again!!
Soooo frustrating, right? To our chagrin, we seem to be in some bizarre Groundhog’s day that we can’t seem to retrace our steps, as to how we arrived at this place…and yet here we are AGAIN!
The hardest concept to recognize is that it’s not our outer circumstances that are the issue…it’s all in our perception. Period.
What we perceive as possible for ourselves is our set point. In our deepest beliefs, we think we deserve to feel the way we do about ourselves, our accomplishments, defeats and our lives!
How can we change this set point and get of this Merry-go-round?
Here are three ways to start today…
1. Next time you make a mistake or make a decision that turns bad, pay attention to your reaction. What are you saying to yourself? If you notice you’re speaking in a way you’d never talk to another human being–what are you ACTUALLY saying…what is the meaning? Stop and get clear, it’s a clue as to what you believe…and what you believe is what you achieve. If you think you’re unlovable and no one will treat you, because it always happens, then guess what? You will keep creating it until you address that belief and take action.
2. Wipe the slate clean by changing your perception of the past. Stop seeing it as black and white, realize if you remain in a protected state, you will only draw things to yourself to protect against…and if you approach everything from the perception of past experiences, you are still acting in the same ways you did in the past….which means: YOU ARE RE-CREATING THE PAST IN THE PRESENT. Recognize, it’s a different time, place, people, situations, etc…and yes, it can be different.
3. Just because circumstances look familiar, doesn’t mean you need to attach the same meaning to it that you did the last time. It’s a way of remaining invulnerable…and if you remain invulnerable, you will most definitely create negative circumstances. So…..open up! Be real. Feel your feelings, insecurities, whatever…and express them. The more vulnerable you become the less likely you are to personalize what happens outside of you. Yes, you actually become clearer and that leads us to number 4….
4. You don’t have to personalize the situation and make it about yourself. See it from an objective place, be the observer…is there a difference, does it really look the same or are you wanting it to be the same, so you can tell yourself….”See, I told you so!” and then you can go right back into your shell and stay there until the next temptation comes along and you sorta kinda try again!
It’s your life, so don’t feel like your trapped in a movie repeating the same days/cycles over and over!!! You can make it different, it’s all in how you feel it and see it!