#292- Why Is Compassion So Hard?
Compassion is such a nice word but it’s hard to do, especially when you have an attachment to your judgmental feelings. Compassion isn’t about giving away your power. It’s not feeling sorry for someone and it’s not excusing or accepting poor behavior. It’s a state of grace that comes from love. When you practice compassion, you understand other people are flawed with their own patterns and negative beliefs, so you can allow them to be who they are. It’s similar to love in that you must have it for yourself in order to have it for others.
Self-righteousness is much easier than compassion. When someone is defensive or avoids or creates their own misery, telling them what they are doing wrong may feel good in the moment, but it won’t last. Saying, “I don’t agree with you, but I understand you’re hurting and I’m here for you” is compassionate. It’s open and vulnerable and yep… it’s tough. Compassion doesn’t mean you condone someone’s thoughts or actions; it’s simply being there for them and understanding they have their own issues.
When you accept the flaws of others, you feel lighter and less angry. It allows you to connect with your heart instead of your head. Punishing someone for how they may have wronged you is also self-punishing. It deprives you of your ability to let go and feel good. Compassion for others starts with you. You’re imperfect just like everyone else and that’s ok. When you open your own heart, you’re able to keep it open for someone else.
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